So Bliss is five months old, and sleeps like a five-week old. It's my own fault for bragging how she was such a good sleeper. Silly old me. First rule of good baby sleeping... don't talk about good baby sleeping.
I'm so tired I can't even finish the end of a sentence. My hair is not the "just got up" look, it's the "never get to go to bed" look. Luckily, I am far too tired to care about my appearance.
I don't know how much harder this last month would have been had we not recruited Fiona, our lovely 19-yr-old, New Zealand au pair. She started three weeks ago, and now she is exhausted too.
The poor girl arrived the day Daisy caught a sick bug, Bliss stopped sleeping and James had to stay away for five nights at work. It was a baptism of fire to say the least.
When things calmed down a bit, we encouraged her to go and check out Brighton. We waxed lyrical about how friendly and vibrant it was, what a great time she'd have. Imagine her surprise then, when a seagull attacked her on the pier, scratched at her hands till she gave up the doughnut she had bought, and then seemingly followed her round the town and later stole her shopping bag (OK, maybe it was not the bird who robbed her, but it could have been. Strange things happen at sea and all that).
It does not seem to have put her off luckily. James now lives with five women. He spends more time at work, or at the gym, or up the garden, measuring how big a shed he could have built.
The girls love her. I was really worried Daisy would not take to her. You know what she's like...
Last week James took Bliss and her moses basket and went to sleep downstairs to give me a break. When Daisy came down in the morning and saw the basket, she promptly took her nappy off and did a jumbo poo just where Bliss' head goes. (Luckily Bliss was not in it at the time). She then weed all over her highchair, and tipped her bowl of Shreddies over her head. Lovely.
Her latest trick is to sit on Bliss' head in a StinkFace move favoured by the wrestler Rikishi. I don't know where she learnt the move. We only watch the Disney Channel. I've never seen Mickey Mouse do it to Minnie, and if I did I'd deffo complain. It's unsavoury.
Anyway, she loves Fiona and they spend hours up the garden on the swings, or doing high fives. I am hoping Daisy will learn to speak with a Kiwi accent. So much nicer then my high pitched squeak. Fiona is all 'Oh Yeeeear' and 'Faaaar owt'.
Her speaking has not come on much in the last month. She says "wipes" now and sometimes "ulk" which might mean milk, or look, depending on her mood. Grace is like Joey Deacon's interpreter, and claims to understand everything she says. According to Grace, Daisy often wants Grace to have a cake, a go on a swing, or a cup of tea.
Grace adores her, as you can imagine. Someone to boss about and make tea, all the time? It's heaven on earth for her. It's been reported she has been bragging about her grown up friend at school.
Speaking of school reports... Daisy's childminder received a complaint. One of her other charges told her mum how Daisy pulls her hair and scratches her face. The girl in question claims to be "petrified" of Daisy. Honestly, doesn't she know that Daisy is like a bear? She can smell fear. As long as she approaches her as you would a dangerous predator in the wild, then she'll be grand. Anything, this girl is a year older than Daisy. She needs to toughen up a bit. In our house we bite back.
They all got christened on Sunday in beautiful cream and gold outfits. Photos to follow. Guess which one could not quite pull off the faux fur shrug?