Saturday, 4 August 2012

Grace four years seven months, Daisy twenty-five months, Bliss ten months

So it's the summer holidays! Nine weeks with the kids... and the au pair quit the day before they started.
I'm not as upset as you might think. This is because she was mostly useless.

I thought, and I hope I am not being racist or offensive when I say this, that as she was German, she would be very efficient. Like an Audi, or a Bosch dishwasher.

Instead, it was like living with a ginormous dormouse. Everytime I turned around she was curled up under a blanket fast asleep. (Particularly annoying when we were the ones up all night with our nocturnal children.)

She was normally with a giant hot water bottle as there was always, always something wrong with her.

One day it would be a headache, so the hot water bottle would be tied to her head.
The next day the pain would have moved down to her shoulder, so she'd be wearing the hot water bottle as a pirate carries his parrot, and it would continue to move downwards till it reached her feet... and then would start all over again.

None of these ailments seemed to affect her appetite however. No matter how bad the headache, earache, suspected "blown sinus" she managed to force down two HUGE bowls of cereal each morning.

The only time she missed a meal was when that seagull stole her doughnut on the pier.

Her CV claimed she liked badminton, cooking and playing guitar. Utter tripe.
She liked sleeping, Skyping her friends, blowing her nose and locking herself in the bathroom for hours.

James is delighted she has left. He hated not being able to walk round naked. When she was here he had to wear a long furry dressing gown with flared sleeves. He looked like a wizard. It was hard to take him seriously.

The dressing gown has been tossed to the back of the airing cupboard. The spare bedroom is now a playroom. The atmosphere in the house is no longer being dragged down by a moody teenager with lazyitis. My chocolate supply is intact.

Needless to say we won't be getting another one.

(NB: I can say all this now because she took me off facebook and trashed her bedroom before leaving in a huff. I think she even tried to throw my IKEA poang chair out the window - but much like her, it was too big)

We don't need help now anyway. Bliss is easily entertained by food. I sprinkle rice cakes and carrot sticks round the living room and she is good for an hour or so.

Daisy's speaking is coming on too. She now says "Car coming" everytime she sees a vehicle (handy on a long trip down the M25), oh, and she only answers to Superted.

Grace is too grown up. I hear her telling her sisters off and bossing everyone around and I think "Who does she sound like? Oh yeah, me."

We've started buying her school uniform. I hate it. It's starchy and itchy and generic. She is excited though, and that is the main thing.

She had her first tap dancing exam a couple of weeks ago. We did not know whether to laugh or cry. I did both. The teacher later text me to say she was the only child to say thank you for her rosette, and then I sobbed some more.

Daisy and Grace dance together alot at home. Bliss takes the opportunity to steal their drinks and crisps. Clever.

They also love the Olympic gymnastics, and try to copy the moves (Moves which James claims he could "easily" do if he wanted to. Having seen him struggle to put on a pair of shorts, I doubt this.)

Photos here: